February 20th, 2017

The Netherlands is kind to smartphone zombies

Outside of TV, movies, and books, zombies are fiction, however if you walk down any street (our favorites are 3rd and 5th Ave. in NYC) you will see hundreds, if not thousands of zombies.  Not the ones that have decayed body parts or oozing wounds, but those who are looking down at their smartphones as they walk on sidewalks and streets.  These zombies, who are the bane of us who do not live with a smartphone in their hands at all times, are prone to walk into humans (luckily not biting), or more importantly across streets without looking up.  New York streets are ripe with bike messengers who have little regard for your texts about who had diner at which fancy restaurant with who, and less regard for your safety.  Taxicabs and delivery trucks don’t seem to care about anything other than getting through a busy interception so the zombie population, we are sorry to say is at serious risk.

That said, the Netherlands is taking steps to protect its zombie population and while signs abound, the county is beginning to install ground-level traffic systems in the town of Bodegraven.  These “light lines” are designed to attract the attention of pedestrians who are looking down at their devices and will indicate whether it is safe to cross.  While much local traffic is on bicycle, the system is adaptable to vehicular traffic.  We understand the next development will be a dome over the city that will eliminate most sunlight, helping zombies read their smartphones more easily...

Figure 4 - Zombie traffic light - Source: HIG Traffic Systems